Thursday, March 09, 2006

Observing in My Head

Two nights ago, when that person spoke about watching our negative thoughts... and that these would influence the quality of our... wellbeing, how we feel inside, our inner tranquility or lack thereof... and how negative thoughts make it harder to achieve moments of mental silence and lasting bliss... You know what I thought as I heard that? "Well, I don't have that problem. I'll take into account the other suggestions."

HA!!! Oh, the ego. Ke sorpresa me lleve ayer... cuando me puse a observar... y me di cuenta que "negative thoughts" no tiene ke ser "Life sucks." or "I hate X." or "Everything's stupid." I guess in a way it depends on the person thinking them... wow, and that helps me understand something else I hadn't noticed... it's like G could do or think something that, considering what that person usually does or thinks, could be considered entirely progressive. But then if F does that same thing, considering that person's usual thoughts and actions, it could pinpoint a horrifying regression. Know what I mean? Maybe that explains the intolerance of some... though I think it is clear that all of us could do well with increased tolerance. :)

But anyway, about my experience, I noticed that there were a few recurring thoughts during the day, a few similar reactions to some specific situations which were apparently not too bad, but in fact were negative. I noticed how when I had that thinking reaction time and again, the situation only seemed tougher to handle. And then something snapped and I realized - hey, that ain't too helpful, is it? I'm having tons of negative thoughts! Hmm... So I decided to adopt a different stance.

The ugly bigness of the issue dwindled speedily as I mentally reacted in a more favorable way. And you know what I realized? It really isn't that big of a deal, the apparent Monster, Inc. When I impersonate a more confident management of me, it looks more like the little Boo girl. Sooo... If in each moment I can spot a pressure filled thought and instantly replace it with a relieving approach, I can make of this experience a work of fulfilling art.

Uno nunca sabe como las cosas ke uno dice van a ayudar a otros... ni si le servira dos noches o dos decadas despues... Esas sencillas palabras, han de ser mega utiles para mi. Gracias!


local wannabe said...

...i get rid of my negative thoughts by writing them down in my marbled black journal, they don't go away completely but the more i express them the less they are repressed and the less influence they have on me...i agree, that EGO is an F-ing Bastid'- the first step is realizing its existence, then learning the ways it affects your person, then slowly letting that poopin' monkey go- it's a tough chore being that most everything revolves around that sucker, society, relationships, conflicts, arguments, artificial happiness, emotions, mood swings and all- we just gotta take it slow lest it be overwhelming and patiently drift away from its reach on our lives... ps i havent emailed the doctor just yet, but will very very soon...have a good one...

Chelle said...

hi lo!

i used to think the ego was bad, but it's not the ego itself, someone once told me the point is not to eliminate it, but to get it to a healthy point, because the ego has its importance. a healthy ego is not presumptuous. :) what ur talking about is an inflated one (which is what i referred to as well in my writing. maybe i should've specified that, hehe.)

hope u had a good bday!

۞ D said...

tolerance can be a tricky thing... it usually comes with implicit judgements / differentiations / hierarchies / unwillingness to face things and a whole bundle of stuff. 'I think or belief that what you are doing is wrong, but I tolerate it...' or 'I am greater or better than that...' these seperations create and postpone conflict, instead of solving anything. this can even go all the way to hypocrisy.. and yes, this dwindles with the very same way we think and handle ourselves: i tolerate the bad things in me. I know they are wrong, I might be able to do better, but I tolerate them, i live with them, even accomodate them in me. i've found it more usefull, in my case, to take a different approach: if i really look at myself, or other people, really look, then it doesn't even come into play the question of tolerance. if I really look, then there is acceptance of things for what they are/were, and i write "were" cuz just looking, being aware, changes everything. :)

Chelle said...

"just looking, being aware changes everything."

indeed! if i am tolerant with myself... only then will i be able to exercise tolerance with others.