A hair dyeing partner of mine has opened her own blog. It is the color of our favorite hair dye, and upon my first visit I stumbled accross a much appreciated post: With Myself, Not By Myself. Do read! (Thanks Amz!)
It reminds me of once upon a time...
I was at a party standing away from the crowd, with myself. A friend of mine came over and asked, "Are you lonely?"
To which, smiling, I replied, "No, I am alone."
He shook his head and intended to correct me, "No, you mean lonely."
But I did not, so with the same warmth I insisted, "No, I am just alone."
And it went on, without him being able to grasp the concept that by being physically and apparently alone, by default I did not surely have to be lonely. At that time he did not seem capable of understanding that one can be happy and full with oneself and nobody else. He believed that this had to equal a feeling of being cut off and needing to be with other people. I was at a party- there were enough people if that were the case. And if it were that I would have been lonely, we all know that you can feel this even if you are surrounded by the largest of crowds. Now, why is that?
Because being lonely or not does not depend on other people. It does not depend on external appearances. We are not an empty container waiting to by filled by others, or expecting others to define our reality or feelings. WE decide what we want to feel or fill ourselves with, or whether we wish to be happy or not. We choose either to enhance or sabotage our own bliss.
Learning how to be alone and with oneself is precious. I have found that having become better at this has allowed me to appreciate and manage better my time with others. I can only share what I have within me, and if I do not know how to care for and be with myself, how will I ever know how to care for and really share with other people?
I'm really grateful for having discovered this, and I invite you, as does my pink-loving friend, to give it a try. Spend some time with yourself! Do so in private, and, yes, even in public.
You know what? Forget the invitation; I dare you to. :P