Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Indeed, History Repeats Itself

Settling in is easier than settling out. I wonder how settling out will be if I'm still settling in. I'm still getting used to the idea that this can be in a way that it hasn't been before. I'm still getting to know how it can be based on deeper things, rather than the superficial aspects we are usually distracted by- not that they are bad at all, but we usually get caught up in those and do not go beyond. But speaking of distractions, why should I be focusing on settling out? It's rather silly to think of going out when I haven't yet got in quite entirely. I don't even know how long I'll be here for.

On the plane of relativity, everything changes. What goes up must come down, what expands must collapse, what goes in must go out, what goes warm must go cold. (Of course, it can go warm again... and then eventually cold.) That is no news for any of us, we all experience it every day. But we don't all experience the only one existing constant in the universe (God.) I wish we all did, though. That is the only thing that will fill the emptiness we've all felt- the kind that is denied by the ones its most experienced by. We can try once again, but we always keep confirming that it won't and cannot be filled by another person, or a million orgasms, or the perfect job, or shitloads of money, or getting pitifully drunk. You cannot bring anything from the outside and shove it in to fill it up, you've got to develop the fullness from within. It's awesome when you can do this with and for yourself; only this way can you share that which is grand with someone else.

Indeed, history repeats itself, only this time, we've chosen a different approach... a nicer approach... a deeper approach... a more respectful approach... a more rewarding approach. It's enriching, to say the least. It's so much more fulfilling. And I haven't built a dam! I feel that by being less pressured, it's been much, much smoother. Sometimes less really ends up being more.

"Instruction precedes development." - Lev Vygotsky

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