Sunday, October 08, 2006

How Do You Love?

That... is a Collective Soul song. (I love them.)

But the question applies... for a night like tonight... How do you love?

Do you hoard the other so... that you cripple their growth? Do you cling so tight... that you hardly let them breathe? Do you use love as an excuse... to stop another from living their own life... supposedly because you need them there with you... as you, of course, live yours?

Wait a minute... is that really love? How selfish can we get? How often do we misunderstand and misuse the concept of love? How many times do we have to hear... that attachment does not equal love? And how can hurting another- limiting them so that they cannot live and express themselves freely- how can that be love?

Do you say you love the other just as they are... but constantly try to persuade them to be how you think is better? Do you push another to change who they are... with the excuse that you do it because you really care? Do you even know how to respect another's space? Or do you repeatedly call and write and visit and invite and pop up and whatever else you can think of all the freaking time?

I think we should revise ourselves, and our idea of what it really means to love. Because I don't think it's worth it, especially if there really is love there, for one to mis-love because of blindly watching the other too closely, afraid of what to do without them, and the other because of stupidly allowing themselves to be trapped.

In that case, what was supposed to be love turns to suffering, and I don't think that was the plan.

So, please, let's think about it. How do you love? And if the answer is what we know it shouldn't be... then let's make a little remedial effort here, and save ourselves before it's too late.

Wouldn't it be nice to share all those wonderful things without painfully chaining ourselves to each other?

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