so today's my birthday... and this was a long weekend... perfect to begin celebrating... and how did i begin this? by sleeping on the floor, having cold showers at 3am, being in total silence (no talking), fasting with water, lemon and honey, and many hours of meditation... i went to a yoga retreat.
what better way to close a personal year and receive a new one? dedicating the weekend to my own growth... to things i have to give attention to... to realizing once again, that no matter how hard it can be, i prefer using my time for this, than living how i used to live before... which would've just created more suffering. it's difficult either way. difficult if we don't pay attention to ourselves, and difficult if we do. but the first provides prolonging suffering, and the second gives you strength and tools to manage the many challenges that are sure to come. problems will not be erased. what has to be developed is our capacity to handle them well.
i love birthdays. they make me think about life, and if what i'm doing is what i want to be doing, and if i'm heading in the direction i wish to go for the future i want to create. on days like these, i ponder.